The War Within - Part VII

June 16th, 2007

The War Within – Part VII

I can make decisions to do wrong:
• I can tear down road blocks so that when I want to do wrong, it isn’t as difficult.

I can make decisions to do right:
• I can put up road blocks so that when I want to do wrong, it is difficult.

First: There is a wall to keep OUT sin and a wall to keep IN sin.
Second: There is a stumbling block to PREVENT sin and a stumbling block as a CONSEQUENCE to sin.

Stumbling Block (noun):
Mikshôl (pronounced mik-shole')
• A stumbling block, literally or figuratively (obstacle, enticement (specifically an idol, scruple): caused to fall, offence, nothing offered, ruin, stumbling-block. (Strong’s)
• A stumbling, means or occasion of stumbling, stumbling block (stumbling, fall, means or occasion of stumbling, stumbling block) – (BDB)

This is what was used in Ezekiel 3. God put up a stumbling block after the person has done evil. That’s how I am reading it, although I am not sure this is entirely right. I would think that the Ezekiel 3 is the “consequence” stumbling block. 2nd Corinthians 6 is the “preventing sin” stumbling block.

Now, the above is from Part VI, and I am finally going to continue to this series. After some thought on this subject of “Stumbling Blocks”, I now believe that a stumbling block can serve two purposes. It will be a combination of the first and second above. For example, it can serve to keep out and prevent sin. It can also keep sin in and serve as a consequence. I don’t think it would really keep in sin and prevent it at the same time… unless it is like to keep it in something, like a safe guard, to prevent it. Like a wall to keep it contained away from something, thus preventing sin.

I just want to add that my wife convicted my socks right off today. She’s studying the Bible with a friend of hers and she shared some things with me that convicted her. It had the same effect on me. I’ll try to get her to put it in writing (at least in some form), and then I will post it here.

Anyway, ever feel like the walls are closing in on you? That everywhere you turn, there is temptation?

2nd Samuel 22:29-31
You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.”

God can help you scale a wall. He can overcome temptation. And what tools has God given to overcome temptation? How does God put up the right kind of “road-blocks” even in the most difficult challenges?

First off, this scripture:
1st Corinthians 10:12-13
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

How about the Johnny Ray street-language version? “So, if you think you are all good, be sure not to get pig headed. Nothing enticing has happened to you except what happens everyday to everyone. God is faithful, however, and will not so much on your plate that you can’t handle it righteously. But when you become enticed, God will have a way for you survive it righteously so that you won’t sin.” It’s not an official translation, but when I read it in the NIV, this is how it actually enters my brain. It’s how I understand it.

God allows Satan to put up sinful road-blocks (or as I have called them before “Billboards”), but God also makes sure that these type of road-blocks can be overcome. How???

Matthew 26:40-41
Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”

Mark 14:37-38
Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”

Luke 20:39-40, 45-46
Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.”

When he rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. “Why are you sleeping?” he asked them. “Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”

The only way that I have found thus far is that prayer gives strength to overcome the temptations that Satan’s road-blocks bring. And of course, the Bible says to pray continually (all the time!). I guess that’s it on road-blocks. Johnny Out.

Casting Call

June 15th, 2007

Casting Call

I am concerned that I might be depressed. I don’t “feel” depressed, but my actions speak differently. So what’s the deal? I sleep too much, I don’t do all that many activities that I enjoy, and I have to force myself outside from the apartment. So what’s the deal? I don’t know. Like I said, I don’t “feel” depressed. I think that I am removed from reality, emotionally speaking.

So what can I be depressed about? It could be the loss of my Grandmother. It could be the surgery coming up a week from now. It could be my concerns for my family (in regards to the loss of my Grandmother). It could be that my son is behind on his growth. Heck, it could be that the Rangers aren’t playing well. I sincerely doubt the last one, though. Their time is coming when they will finally put it all together. What I gather is that since all these things are going on, it is most likely a combination of all of these things, and maybe more that, there are things that I am experiencing that I can’t think of right now.

The solution to all this is to get back into scripture. That’s the only solution that I can think of…

1st Peter 5:5-7 (NIV)
Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1st Peter 5:5-7 (NCV)
In the same way, younger people should be willing to be under older people. And all of you should be very humble with each other. “God is against the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.” Be humble under God’s powerful hand so he will lift you up when the right time comes. Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” That’s the ticket. I have to be worry-free to follow Christ.

Consider these scriptures:

Matthew 6:25-34 (NCV)
“So I tell you, don't worry about the food or drink you need to live, or about the clothes you need for your body. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothes. Look at the birds in the air. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, but your heavenly Father feeds them. And you know that you are worth much more than the birds. You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it. And why do you worry about clothes? Look at how the lilies in the field grow. They don't work or make clothes for themselves. But I tell you that even Solomon with his riches was not dressed as beautifully as one of these flowers. God clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today but tomorrow is thrown into the fire. So you can be even more sure that God will clothe you. Don’t have so little faith! Don’t worry and say, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ The people who don't know God keep trying to get these things, and your Father in heaven knows you need them. The thing you should want most is God's kingdom and doing what God wants. Then all these other things you need will be given to you. So don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will have its own worries. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Now, here’s two scriptures that say it plain and simple: Don’t worry. It’s a sin to have anxiety.

Anxiety (noun):
• A vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some (usually ill-defined) misfortune.
• A state of apprehension and fear resulting from the anticipation of a threatening event or situation.
• Emotional distress, especially that brought on by fear of failure.
• Eager, often agitated desire.

Now, a few scriptures come to mind when looking at the definition… but first, a look at the Greek definition.

Worry (verb):
merimnaō (mer-im-nah'-o)
• To be anxious, to be troubled with cares.
• To be anxious about: - (be, have) care (careful), take thought.

1st John 4
We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

God is love and there is no fear in love. This would mean that there is no fear in God. And as a follower of Christ, who imitates God, I should have NO FEAR within me, because I would not be made perfect in Christ if I do fear. Fear is a by-product of anxiety. That’s what the definition indicates. And this last scripture really drives it home for me. It states clearly the problem with fear and anxiety.

Luke 9:57-62 (NIV)
As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” He said to another man, “Follow me.” But the man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.” Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

So what does counting the “Cost of following Christ” have anything to do with fear and anxiety? Quite a lot, actually. “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Would I worry if I didn’t have a bed to sleep in or a place to call home? I think many would. I believe I would, to a certain extent. “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” There are many explanations on this particular verse… I just read it as is. Let the dead bury their own… I guess it can simply mean to not be distracted by the tasks of the world (the dead), but to be focused on heavenly things. But here is the kicker of the passage: “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” If I keep looking over my shoulder, looking at the things that cause anxiety, the things that cause fear, I am no use to God and his kingdom. And if I am no use to him, would I have a ticket to enter the kingdom? Not likely. If I have no use for a movie in my collection, why would I want to keep it around? The NCV translates this as: “Anyone who begins to plow a field but keeps looking back is of no use in the kingdom of God.” I know when I worry about something, I continually obsess about whatever it is that I am worried about. I have to watch it until whatever it is that is stressing me is completed and finished. I can’t stop thinking about it. Maybe I am the only one, but that’s just how it is when this happens in my life. And how can I “plow the field”, per se, if I am focused on other things? You see, in Matthew 9:37 says: the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. And the reason is people like myself start to plow the field and get turned around by little stresses. And God has no place in heaven for me. I guess it is time to start the plow all over again – and maintain focus. Johnny Out.

Hitting the Right Note

June 7th, 2007

Hitting the Right Note

Please know that my family’s thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to let us know.

I appreciate you trying to work through it bro. I will be praying for you.

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. I know you will endure and come out of this a stronger man. God loves you.

Hello Jonathon. I am so sorry about the loss of your grandmother. I was very close to my great grandmother who passed in 1997. I remember how devastated and angry I was, too. I pray God will give you the peace He gave me in my grief. I hope to talk with you soon.

Johnny, I always appreciate how you express your true feelings, you remind me of David. David wrestles with God and always came out with God (Psalm 13).

I'm really sorry about your grandmother. I pray for God to give you comfort and strength. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Thanks for sharing your heart about your grandmother's death. It is never easy to lose a loved one. When our daughter died, it was on a Sunday morning, early. We went to church and the minister began the service stating that all of us, despite our grief, would worship God, because that was what Christians do. He quoted from Job: "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him..." KJV That little phrase from Job set my heart up to decide to trust God no matter what. God is on your side Johnny. And God loves your Grandma more than you do! (Hard to believe isn't it?!) You can trust your grandma's soul with God! He loves her...He will do what is just and right.

For me, when someone I love dies, I realized that the most difficult thing is that they will not be here physically to share with me in the major events of life. For example, I really missed my dad this weekend. I dearly wish he could have attended my son’s and daughter-in-law’s wedding...it is making me cry now. A friend suggested to me (nine years ago when dad died) that I could go to God in prayer and ask God to allow my dad to experience things like the wedding and know our joy. It is not the same as him being there but it gives me comfort to think that he is aware of wedding.

Our loved ones will die some day and leave us behind in our grief and loneliness. What comforts me is that God will never leave me or die! I will always have my relationship with God and the hope of eternal life and the joy of seeing loved ones in eternity!

God did not cause your grandma's death, sin and Satan are at the root of death, but Christians have the hope of eternal life with God. Please take comfort in these thoughts and know that God loves you and He loves your Grandma very, very much.

I pray that your grandma's death will bring you closer to God. I know that is what God wants and that is what your grandma, who has now seen God face to face, would want for you!

It is a spiritual journey, you will feel many conflicting emotions, you will grow a ton in your faith! You will become more like Jesus because of your suffering and learning to make sense of death...

I love you and will be praying for you and your family.

Normally I don’t post responses in a quiet time. I just felt I should on this one, because this has had an impact on me.

Psalm 13:1-6 (NIV)
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.

And I can relate so much to this scripture. I most certainly can.

Job 13:13-22 (NIV)
“Keep silent and let me speak; then let come to me what may. Why do I put myself in jeopardy and take my life in my hands? Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; I will surely defend my ways to his face. Indeed, this will turn out for my deliverance, for no godless man would dare come before him! Listen carefully to my words; let your ears take in what I say. Now that I have prepared my case, I know I will be vindicated. Can anyone bring charges against me? If so, I will be silent and die. Only grant me these two things, O God, and then I will not hide from you: Withdraw your hand far from me, and stop frightening me with your terrors. Then summon me and I will answer, or let me speak, and you reply.

Job 13:13-22 (NCV)
"Be quiet and let me speak. Let things happen to me as they will. Why should I put myself in danger and take my life in my own hands? Even if God kills me, I have hope in him; I will still defend my ways to his face. This is my salvation. The wicked cannot come before him. Listen carefully to my words; let your ears hear what I say. See, I have prepared my case, and I know I will be proved right. No one can accuse me of doing wrong. If someone can, I will be quiet and die. God, please just give me these two things, and then I will not hide from you: Take your punishment away from me, and stop frightening me with your terrors. Then call me, and I will answer, or let me speak, and you answer.

It’s brilliant stuff. I can’t really elaborate on what is already said. It’s like my pathetic heart stops in awe… I guess that is all I can say. Thanks so much from everyone with all the encouragement. I am more than grateful to have friends and family who care so much.

Frustrated and Angry

June 5th, 2007

Frustrated and Angry

At 6:08 PM on June 5th, 2007, my grandmother passed away at the age of 84. I’m not taking it well. But I’m doing two things now that I wasn’t doing since I heard the news. I’m praying and I’m doing this. The funeral is Saturday afternoon at 1 PM in Mangum, Oklahoma. I’ve cried a little, but I know I will cry a great deal Saturday when the funeral happens. I can’t stand the idea that she’s gone. It doesn’t seem right.

There are several ways I can deal with my anger toward God.

First, I can be unreasonable and unrighteous about it and act out in ways that are not beneficial to me and my family…

Genesis 4:6-7
Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”

James 1:19-21
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Ephesians 4:25-29
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

1st Corinthians 13:1-13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Now, four passages that all speak of anger issues. Cain was angry and jealous about the response that God had to his offering. So Cain’s frustration led to him killing his brother. It didn’t master the sin that crept up in his life and it led to further hardships. And I’m sure that didn’t make him any happier. James speaks that there is nothing good that comes from anger. NOTHING. The Bible then says to get rid of anger and cling to the word. I find that difficult, yet here I am having this quiet time. And to be honest, I am feeling better by doing it. Ephesians tells me that anger in itself isn’t a sin. What Ephesians says is this: “In my anger, do not sin.” I gather from that anger isn’t sin, but actions built up from anger lead to sin. Love is not easily angered. It can be angered, but not easily. And that backs up the previous scriptures. The Bible also says that God is love, but God does not and can not sin. That frustrates me, at least right now, since my grandmother passed. I want to say that God is wrong for letting her pass, but he can never be wrong. I want to blame God for taking my grandma, but what really can I say. I can’t say a thing. And it hurts. God says he won’t give me more than I can handle, that my shoulders are broad and that I can carry much. I don’t know why he trusts me so much to carry such a load. I know I am not supposed to be angry. I know I am supposed to let it go, push out the anger, but I can only get a little out here and there. Tomorrow is another day, I pray that it will be less burdensome. Johnny Out.

Somewhere a Clock is Ticking

June 3rd, 2007

Somewhere a Clock is Ticking

A clock ticks… tick – tock – tick… tock.

I have surgery on 6/22/07. And time slowly draws closer to that date. I will get to keep the bone that is going to be cut out and replaced with metal. I want to keep it. It is a reminder of just how mortal I am.

Tick…

I have a close friend who knew a guy who would frequent topless bars. The guy had some physical handicaps, but I guess he was a nice guy. I don’t think my friend would have hung out with him otherwise. This guy would have “lap-dances” and things like that, from what I am told.

Tock…

Matthew 5:27-30
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You must not be guilty of adultery.’ But I tell you that if anyone looks at a woman and wants to sin sexually with her, in his mind he has already done that sin with the woman. If your right eye causes you to sin, take it out and throw it away. It is better to lose one part of your body than to have your whole body thrown into hell. If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

This is what people think of when they think of this guy, since he was proud of the actions that defined him. And then one day – BOOM – dead in an auto accident. His car went into a ditch and he died. He didn’t get yet another chance to repent. His time was up.

Tick…

I had several friends in High School, some who had driver’s licenses and others who had yet to reach that plateau. They were young, full of life, hope and dreams.

Titus 3:1-2
Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.

Tock…

There was a tight curve in a street, and since they were going somewhere between 40 and 60 miles per hour over the speed limit, they didn’t make that turn. The car plummeted into a tracker type devise and killed three of the four teenagers in the automobile. The three children, not even old enough to vote, had come to the end of their time.

Tick…

I knew a guy who was quiet and well thought of in school. He focused on his grades and outlook on life for him was for the taking. Many would have classified him as a “nerd”, however he really didn’t care what others thought of him. It really didn’t seem to be enough when it came to consider his parents.

Ephesians 6:1-4
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Tock…

He got into a big argument with his mother. And in frustration, it was said that he went back into his room to “clean his gun”. His mother came in to continue the argument or makeup with him… it will never be clear of her intentions since the gun went off and killed her instantly. Her time was up.

Tick…

My grandmother’s time is near. In fact, I write this right now feeling that by the time the sun rises, she will be gone. She’s had a stroke and a series of “minor” heart attacks. It’s frustrating for me. It’s simply frustrating. I want to “be strong” in this ordeal, but then I feel like I am calloused over without emotion. But if I don’t withhold it, I would simply be a blubbering idiot with no stop to my tears.

1st Corinthians 10:11-13
These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

…

I’m not standing firm. I don’t even think I’m standing at this point. I’m a mess… at least I know I’m a mess. That’s a start, I guess. God does have a lot of faith in me, because I don’t know how I can bear all of this right now… it’s a little much. Maybe I will wake up with a different attitude, but I really doubt it. My hope is that I pull it back together before my time runs out. Johnny Out…