Thursday, September 21, 2006

The King's Highway

September 21st, 2006

The King’s Highway

You know, I don’t get to drive near as much as I used to, but when I do get the opportunity, I tend to enjoy it. OK, most of the time, anyway, but still, it is a blessing to be stuck in traffic, to have a easy ride to go wherever you go, or anything in between. It’s great to not have to walk to and fro in a days time just to get to church, but to hop in a car and in ten or fifteen minutes, be there. And in my online class, we have weekly devotionals. And what I will do, is simply share the next few days each week an “edited” Johnny Ray Version of these devotionals.

Week #1:
Johnny Ray took a long look at his speedometer before slowing down: 70 in a 60 zone. This was the fourth time in as many months that he had been stopped. How much bad luck can one guy have? When his car had slowed to 10 miles an hour, Johnny pulled over to the shoulder, but only partially. “Let the cop worry about the potential traffic hazard,” he thought. Johnny saw the cop step out of his car with his big ticket pad in his hand. Was that Todd? Todd Asaad from Church? Johnny sank farther down into the seat. This was worse than just getting a ticket. A cop catching a guy from his own church. A guy who was just a little eager to get home after a long Friday at the office. A guy he was about to play golf with tomorrow. Jumping out of the car, he approached his friend. This was really going to be embarrassing.

“Hi, Todd. Fancy meeting you like this.” “Hello, Johnny.” No smile. “You caught me red-handed--I was in a rush to see my wife and son.” “Yeah, I guess.” Todd seemed uncertain ... good maybe he won’t write a ticket. “I’ve seen some long days at the office lately. I’m afraid I bent the rules a bit, just this once.” Johnny toed at a pebble on the pavement. “Jenny said something about pork chops and rice tonight. That’s a great dish you know what I mean?” “I know what you mean but I also know that you have a reputation in our precinct.” Ouch. This was not going in the right direction. Time to change tactics. “What did you clock me at?” “Seventy. Johnny would you get back in your car please?” “Now wait a minute here, Todd. I checked as soon as I saw you. I was barely nudging 65.” The lie seemed to come easier with every ticket. “Please, Johnny, just get in the car.” Flustered, Johnny hunched himself through the still-open door. Slamming it shut, he stared at the dashboard. A fourth ticket--this wasn’t going to be good—he’d have to fight it in court.

The minutes ticked by. Todd scribbled away on the pad. Why hadn’t he asked for a driver’s license? Maybe with his bad record--and already knowing Johnny’s name--he didn’t need it? Whatever the reason, it would be a month of Sundays before Johnny ever sat near this cop again. And forget about golf. A tap on the door jerked his head to the left. There was Todd, the folded-up ticket in his hand. Johnny rolled down the window a mere two inches, just enough room for Todd to pass him the paper. “Thanks.” Johnny didn’t even try to keep the sneer out of his voice. Todd returned to his police car without a word. Johnny watched Todd as he climbed back into his squad car.

Johnny unfolded the sheet of paper. How much was this one going to cost? What was this? Some kind of joke? Johnny began to read: “Dear Johnny, Once upon a time I had a daughter. She was six when she was killed by a car. And as you can guess it was by a speeding driver. A fine and three months in jail, and he was free. Free to hug his three daughters. I only had one, and now I’m going to have to wait until heaven before I can ever hug her again. A thousand times I’ve tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I’ve thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again today. Pray for me. And be careful, Johnny, my wife and son are all I have left.” Todd

Now, I changed the names and cut off about two paragraphs short. Why? Why not? For one, I wanted to personalize. I know Todd. And what if I went speeding down the road and killed his child? It’s bad enough to sin and crucify Christ. But then to complicate things even further by causing a domino effect. Is it worth it?

Now, for those who really need the help in understanding just what a speed limit is, I am here for you. And so is the dictionary. And, I’ve even made it as simple as a click away by providing the link, should you want to verify the information I post here.
  • The maximum speed at which a vehicle is legally permitted to travel, as within a specific area, on a certain road, or under given conditions.
  • The maximum speed legally permitted on a given stretch of road.
  • Regulation establishing the top speed permitted on a given road.

Seriously, I still have a few friends who are still holding back on their driving habits, and I really wasn’t go address it anymore, but I really wanted to these devotionals. But I thought of a few questions:

  • In heaven, let’s say God has cars and streets and laws and all sorts of things, and there really is only one police officer, and that would be God, because he knows all… would you speed? And if you say no to up there, then why do it down here? I’m really curious for that answer.

But like a boomerang, this always comes back to hit me. Just because I don’t speed in my car, doesn’t mean I don’t speed in other areas of my life. Lack of faith, lack of concentration on school, virtually wanting to become addicted to my medication, unsure of whether I am using my illness as a “crutch”… my list could really go on. Wow… I need to get some scripture in here quick.


James 1:19-25
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

James 1:19 (JRV)
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (and always doing less than the speed limit posted on the sign)…

OK, well, maybe the Bible doesn’t say that… but it does say QUICK to listen – SLOW to speak and SLOW to become angry. Now, as a math major, I counted one quick and two slows. Two minus one is one… so that would be one slow remaining. Another way you could look at the formula is two slows plus one quick… assigning numbers for slow and quick: 70 for quick and 35 for slow would then mean the formula would look something like this: 2(35) + 1(70) = 140. However, 140 wouldn’t be the total answer, because that is the sum of three numbers, so then the next step would be 140 divided by three, thus equaling 46.67. And why did I have to do this? I really don’t know… I think I need to go to bed now. Johnny OUT.

How to Take Care of a Spanish Lime Tree

MAMONCILLO; SPANISH LIME; GINEP

The plants should be grown in pots until of sufficient size to set in the ground. At least 2ft height is recommended. Use a well draining potting mix with no fertilizer already added to the soil. A potting soil such as “Miracle Grow” will kill the young tree. Trees should be kept protected from any frost for as long as possible. Grow in full sun to partial shade. In the ground they are tolerant of many soil types, but like a deep soil best. They will grow in the poorest of Florida soils with no cultural attention at all. Plants in pots should be regularly watered, but not over watered. Evenly moist, but not wet is best. Fertilize monthly while temps are warm with 1/4 the label recommended fertilize. In the ground the plants are tolerant of floods and drought once established. When first planted they should be watered regularly.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Chocolate Gate Scandal: Part VI (Revised)

September 20th, 2006

THE CHOCOLATE GATE SCANDAL: PART VI (Revised)

Today is the day for the appointment at the medical school. I am still dealing with the issues I mentioned yesterday, but I have new thoughts. I’ve had such questions: will God heal me? Will he take my pain away? Am I looking at my illness the wrong way? There are plenty of perspectives that I can look at things. And one thing that really helped oddly enough is a website I visited yesterday dealing with the “Trinity Project”. For those of you who don’t know, Trinity James was a female porn star who left the business to pursue a life as a Christian. She is married and now has a child, but her husband has now left her and her bills have piled up beyond her means. And needless to say, she has given up hope and is going to re-enter the pornography industry. And as sad as that may seem, it has helped put my life into perspective. Life as a disciple isn’t promised to be simple and easy. Michelle (her real name) had expected everything to be given to her on a silver platter, she expected her life as a Christian to be roses, and that life wouldn’t be difficult in the slightest, from what I gathered from her postings. And if it is supposed to be easy and roses and streets paved with gold and all that, then sign me up! Of course But where she gives up, I feel the need to push forward. Also, this is the last edition of the Chocolate Gate series… just a heads up.

John 10:1-18
“I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.

Therefore Jesus said again, “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.”

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”

In these eighteen verses, gate is used five times. Here are previous uses of the word “gate” that I’ve looked at in the text thus far:

sha‛ar (noun)
  • Gate, gate (of entrance), gate (of space inside gate, i.e. marketplace, public meeting place)

  • Gate of city, town

  • Gate (of palace, royal castle, temple, court of tabernacle)

  • Gate of heaven

  • An opening, that is, door or gate: - city, door, gate, port.

pulōn (noun)

  • a large gate: of a palace

  • the front part of a house, into which one enters through the gate, porch

  • a gateway, door way or a building or city; by implication a portal or vestibule: - gate, porch.

pulē (noun)

  • A gate (of the larger sort) in the wall of either a city; a palace; a town; the temple; a prison

  • The gates of hell (likened to a vast prison)

  • Metaphorically the access or entrance into any state

  • A gate, that is, the leaf or wing of a folding entrance (literally or figuratively): - gate.

Now, there is another one to add to the list. In this scripture four of the five are the same. In verse 3, it is unclear to me what was used for gate, outside that it was implied due to the opening of something for the sheep, thus a gate. Makes sense to me.

John 10:1-2, 7, 9 gate:
thura (noun)
  • A door, the vestibule, used of any opening like a door, an entrance, way or passage into, in a parable or metaphor

  • The door through which sheep go in and out, the name of him who brings salvation to those who follow his guidance

  • “An open door” is used of the opportunity of doing something

  • The door of the kingdom of heaven (likened to a palace) denotes the conditions which must be complied with in order to be received into the kingdom of God

  • Door; a portal or entrance (the opening or the closure, literally or figuratively): - door, gate.

I am the “door of the kingdom of heaven”; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture.

I have my appointment to go to, so I may be adding to this later today… hopefully I will be admitted into the hospital and not get to until a few weeks or so. We’ll see.

(This is actually what is added on the 20th.)
I have to admit, the appointment at the medical school failed to meet any of my expectations. I mean, on a scale of zero to 100, I can’t seem to give it much of anything except that it was very thorough yet repetitious from all the other exams that I had previously done. And despite a failing grade and what would normally mean a doom and gloom type situation, I couldn’t help walk away feeling like the worst part is somehow behind me. I can’t really explain that. Maybe I was putting all this sort of pressure on this one day on the calendar, I am not really sure. But when things didn’t go the way I had planned them to go in my mind, I somehow felt relieved. Kick me in the head and call me Elvis, but that’s how I felt. The rest of the day was pretty much a blur as was most of today, but now that my son is in bed and I sit here in some pain, I felt I should finish this puppy up.

I am sorry, but I want to go back to Michelle (Trinity James) for a moment. I just had this thought that we both had this expectation of what we wanted people and God to do for us, and when it didn’t work out for her, she fled. She gave up. I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t go through extremely tough trials starting over in life. Especially in her situation, this isn’t Hollywood where there is always a happy ending to every trial that comes your way. Maybe that is how she sees the life she is going back to, but that is her choice. In my situation (and this doesn’t just go for the appointment on the 19th), I have been expecting the doctors to “bow down” to my wishes. And it hasn’t worked once. Well, maybe except for the emergency room, but really, outside of that, it really hasn’t brought me any answers and only frustrated the doctors with my growing attitude. I am still very much in the learning process of this all. I know that giving up isn’t the answer. I am grateful for the lesson that Michelle has shown me, however much the cost to her and her family, now and later.

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Christ already did that. But I want to check out the word “lays” just a little closer. Curious, I guess.

John 10:11
tithēmi (verb)
  • To set, put, place; to place or lay; to put down or lay down; to bend down; to lay off or aside, to wear or carry no longer; to lay by, lay aside money

  • To set on (serve) something to eat or drink

  • To set forth, something to be explained by discourse

  • To make; to make (or set) for one’s self or for one’s use

  • To set, fix establish; to set forth; to establish, ordain

  • To place; advise, appoint, bow, commit, conceive, give, kneel down, lay (aside, down, up), make, ordain, purpose, put, set (forth), settle, sink down.

Lay down (from dictionary.com):

  • To give up and surrender

  • To give up; yield

  • Also, lay down one’s life. Sacrifice one’s life, as in He would willingly lay down his life for his children.

It’s definitely important, to consider the words around the one you are looking to grasp the best meaning of course, or the other choices that could “fit” (at least for me) when I check the dictionaries. And with that in mind, I have to completely consider “down” with the word “lays” when checking this whole thing out. Christ, of course, did die on the cross, thus laying down his life for me. If I am to be a good shepherd and follow in his footsteps, then I should also as the Greek says: lay aside money, lay down my life for others, make myself for the use of Christ and God… yeah, I could go on and on this one. But I really didn’t intend to even check out that part of the scripture, seriously, it just kind of popped out at me.

Revelation 22:12-15
“Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.”

“Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.”

The gates word used above is pulōn (see above for definition). You know, though, other translations do some of these verses better justice.

Verse 15
Good News Bible:
But outside the city are the perverts and those who practice magic, the immoral and the murderers, those who worship idols and those who are liars both in words and deeds.

Bible in Basic English:
Outside are the dogs, and those who make use of evil powers, those who make themselves unclean, and the takers of life, and those who give worship to images, and everyone whose delight is in what is false.

Contemporary English Version:
But outside the city will be dogs, witches, immoral people, murderers, idol worshipers, and everyone who loves to tell lies and do wrong.

“Blessed are those who wash their robes…” now my Strong and Thayer’s dictionaries both go with the KJV, so I have to jump to a compare feature to see what’s going on or I just jump back to my word document here to get my bearings, per se. But it was just interesting before I really had to dig, and being that I just don’t feel that I need to on this… the King James Version says this one pretty well… “Blessed are they that do his commands.” Now I do see the elaboration on the washing of robes. It makes sense to me, with Christ’s blood and being cleansed in baptism… anyway, I’m tired and still in pain, so I bid thee farewell. Johnny Out.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The Chocolate Gate Scandal: Part VI

September 19th, 2006

THE CHOCOLATE GATE SCANDAL: PART VI

Today is the day for the appointment at the medical school. I am still dealing with the issues I mentioned yesterday, but I have new thoughts. I’ve had such questions: will God heal me? Will he take my pain away? Am I looking at my illness the wrong way? There are plenty of perspectives that I can look at things. And one thing that really helped oddly enough is a website I visited yesterday dealing with the “Trinity Project”. For those of you who don’t know, Trinity James was a female porn star who left the business to pursue a life as a Christian. She is married and now has a child, but her husband has now left her and her bills have piled up beyond her means. And needless to say, she has given up hope and is going to re-enter the pornography industry. And as sad as that may seem, it has helped put my life into perspective. Life as a disciple isn’t promised to be simple and easy. Michelle (her real name) had expected everything to be given to her on a silver platter, she expected her life as a Christian to be roses, and that life wouldn’t be difficult in the slightest, from what I gathered from her postings. And if it is supposed to be easy and roses and streets paved with gold and all that, then sign me up! Of course But where she gives up, I feel the need to push forward. Also, this is the last edition of the Chocolate Gate series… just a heads up.

John 10:1-18
“I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.

Therefore Jesus said again, “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.”

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”

In these eighteen verses, gate is used five times. Here are previous uses of the word “gate” that I’ve looked at in the text thus far:

sha‛ar (noun)
  • Gate, gate (of entrance), gate (of space inside gate, i.e. marketplace, public meeting place)

  • Gate of city, town

  • Gate (of palace, royal castle, temple, court of tabernacle)

  • Gate of heaven

  • An opening, that is, door or gate: - city, door, gate, port.

pulōn (noun)

  • a large gate: of a palace

  • the front part of a house, into which one enters through the gate, porch

  • a gateway, door way or a building or city; by implication a portal or vestibule: - gate, porch.

pulē (noun)

  • A gate (of the larger sort) in the wall of either a city; a palace; a town; the temple; a prison

  • The gates of hell (likened to a vast prison)

  • Metaphorically the access or entrance into any state

  • A gate, that is, the leaf or wing of a folding entrance (literally or figuratively): - gate.

Now, there is another one to add to the list. In this scripture four of the five are the same. In verse 3, it is unclear to me what was used for gate, outside that it was implied due to the opening of something for the sheep, thus a gate. Makes sense to me.

John 10:1-2, 7, 9 gate:
thura (noun)
  • A door, the vestibule, used of any opening like a door, an entrance, way or passage into, in a parable or metaphor

  • The door through which sheep go in and out, the name of him who brings salvation to those who follow his guidance

  • “An open door” is used of the opportunity of doing something

  • The door of the kingdom of heaven (likened to a palace) denotes the conditions which must be complied with in order to be received into the kingdom of God

  • Door; a portal or entrance (the opening or the closure, literally or figuratively): - door, gate.

I am the “door of the kingdom of heaven”; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture.

I have my appointment to go to, so I may be adding to this later today… hopefully I will be admitted into the hospital and not get to until a few weeks or so. We’ll see.

Monday, September 18, 2006

The Chocolate Gate Scandal: Part V

September 18th, 2006

THE CHOCOLATE GATE SCANDAL: PART V

There are a lot of things within me right now. I keep having this thought: If I was a horse, I’d be dead by now. Seriously, this is a lot to go through. I’ve been reading in the book “This Doesn’t Feel Like Love” and it helps some. It does give perspective on my life and what I’m going though. But the biggest struggle I am dealing with, well two struggles, are anger and lack of faith. I’m not angry at God, mind you. I’m just angry at the not knowing what is wrong. My lack of faith is that I just don’t see an end to all this. My life has become one pain pill after another.

Nehemiah 1:1-4
The words of Nehemiah son of Hacaliah: In the month of Kislev in the twentieth year, while I was in the citadel of Susa, Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem.

They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.”

When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.

Nehemiah 1:3 gates:
sha‛ar (noun)
  • Gate, gate (of entrance), gate (of space inside gate, i.e. marketplace, public meeting place)

  • Gate of city, town

  • Gate (of palace, royal castle, temple, court of tabernacle)

  • Gate of heaven

  • An opening, that is, door or gate: - city, door, gate, port.

Nehemiah 1:3 wall:
chômâh (noun)

  • Wall

  • Meaning to join; a wall of protection: - wall, walled.

This is how a gate is viewed in the Old Testament. The wall is that of protection, much like a “firewall” for a computer. But a firewall has gates. Only the user allows those gate doors to be opened. And do we not cry and mourn when the computer crashes, when the walls of the hard drive give in and especially identity thieves take whatever information they can? It’s a sad, sad day. Nehemiah, he wept and fasted and prayed for a city he had never been to. Because he heard that it was defenseless. But more than that, without walls and without gates, foreigners can creep in and not only take over the city, but hope, livelihood, and most of all, salvation. Gates let people in. Gates also let people out. Think about that in a figurative sense.

John 5:1-15
Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for a feast of the Jews. Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie - the blind, the lame, the paralyzed and they waited for the moving of the waters. From time to time an angel of the Lord would come down and stir up the waters. The first one into the pool after each such disturbance would be cured of whatever disease he had. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, and so the Jews said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.”

But he replied, “The man who made me well said to me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’”

So they asked him, “Who is this fellow who told you to pick it up and walk?”

The man who was healed had no idea who it was, for Jesus had slipped away into the crowd that was there.

Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” The man went away and told the Jews that it was Jesus who had made him well.

Colonnade (noun):
  • Structure consisting of a row of evenly spaced columns.

  • A structure composed of a series of arches supported by columns.

The gate here is used in a term of market, which in this day and age of when Christ was living, the gates usually became marketplaces. Evidently there was pool where near the Sheep Gate (Nehemiah mentions the Sheep Gate three times in that book). This guy, I don’t know why he just didn’t sleep next to the side of this pool and when it was stirred, he just plunk himself right over the side. It sounds logical to me. What I also don’t understand is his lack of gratitude. He gets healed, and the he reports Jesus to the authorities later. What’s up with that? You know, my parents are doing everything they can to help make me better. I seriously don’t know if I am as grateful as I should be to them. I really don’t. How much better am I than that invalid? Seriously, he sat on his duff for thirty-eight years, he got healed, and he still didn’t get it. I pray to God that it doesn’t take me that long. You know what’s weird? People admire me, but I don’t admire myself. It’s probably not healthy. It could be the medicine. The pain-killers are said to cause some depression from what I understand, and the good LORD knows I am taking a few. This is probably not the “feel good” quite time of the year, but at least I’m real with where I’m at. For what it’s worth, thanks for reading. Anyway, Johnny Out.