Marriage Dynamics - Homework Part II

April 10th, 2007 (Session 6)

April 12th, 2007
We've moved the desk from my sons room into the living room. And when I say "we", I mean my wife, my mother-in-law, and brother-in-law, and not me. My doctor's are wanting to strap me down to a bed and never let me back up as it is after my birthday. But I am stuck in a habit that when I start one of these "Online-Quiet-Times", I look up to the wall behind the computer to check the calendar for the date. Well, we do not have a calendar behind the computer here and most likely will never have a calendar here. It doesn't seem to work with everything else we have in the area and would really be out of place.

Notes:

• Earn enough to support at least myself
• "Verbally Rigid"

Rigid (adj.):

• Stiff or unyielding; not pliant or flexible; hard.
• Inflexible, strict, or severe.
• So as to meet precise standards; stringent.

Notes (con.)

• "Verbally Rigid" is what happens to someone before they can not take a behavior any longer. It is an attitude where the person is unyielding to see things from a different perspective (personally, I call that being prideful, but being "Verbally Rigid" sounds like a disease! I love it!). Because they are not allowing others, even "professionals", to help them or give advice, severe harm can and normally is done to their life and those around them, particularly the spouse and loved ones.

How could budgeting your money wisely keep you from the sin of loving money (1st Timothy 6:10)?

1st Timothy 6:10 (NIV)
For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

The love of money expresses itself in many ways, but it always leads to sorrow. It can lead to debt (it most cases it does lead to debt). It can lead to long hours at work or working two or three jobs. It can lead to a husband and wife working, thus putting stress on the marriage. It is important to have a good budget and be dedicated to to that budget, so that it can prevent these things, and the sins I haven't even thought of.

The Needs Budget:
The needs are the things that HAVE to be taken care of, such as utilities, rent, food, etc...
The Wants Budget:
These are not necessary, but would be nice to have or do, I.E.: Movies, Cable TV, Opera, Video Games, Dining Out, etc...
The Affordable Budget:
A Merger of the Needs and Wants budgets, the needs comes first, and the wants are picked through together (see Financial Peace Class on this one)...

How does Ephesians 5:21-33 apply to the fulfilling of this emotional need?

Ephesians 5:21-33
Yield to obey each other because you respect Christ. Wives, yield to your husbands, as you do to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. And he is the Savior of the body, which is the church. As the church yields to Christ, so you wives should yield to your husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it to make it belong to God. Christ used the word to make the church clean by washing it with water. He died so that he could give the church to himself like a bride in all her beauty. He died so that the church could be pure and without fault, with no evil or sin or any other wrong thing in it. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they love their own bodies. The man who loves his wife loves himself. No one ever hates his own body, but feeds and takes care of it. And that is what Christ does for the church, because we are parts of his body. The Scripture says, "So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body." That secret is very important -- I am talking about Christ and the church. But each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and a wife must respect her husband.

This was from the New Century Version.

If Christ would do anything for the church, if Christ would DIE for the church, shouldn't I be doing the same thing for my wife? I mean, I get up and get myself a drink and a bite to eat, shouldn't I offer to get something for my wife while I am up? I love myself enough to get myself food and a drink, why would I be so unloving and selfish to not get her anything? It's the little things that add up and steal from my "love bank".

What do you think about Dr. Harley's ideas on Solving the Division of Labor Dilemma on pages 137-139 of the His Needs, Her Needs book?
Actually, I love the ideas - the four steps. Especially the 4th step of assuming responsibilites while grabbing extra Love Units. It's a great way to get a clean house or whatever and build up a bunch of love for each other! It's a really great idea and it works!