Saturday, July 30th

Hey all, another day in paradise for sure. I am posting this late, but to let you all know, I have had my quiet times, I just haven't been posting them. Saturday, I had a busy day and ended up at a sleep study tht night. The thing went well, but I slept absolutely horrible. I was awakened at 6am Sunday morning, but I was so exhausted that I just went back home and slept some more, or as I call it, productive sleep. I find it difficult to sleep with probes and all sorts of things attached to myself. I ended up waking up 3 or 4 times over that night, and didn't have any steem for the upcoming day. Anyway, I don't mean to harp. Onto my quiet time that I had that night.

I read out of Cry of the Soul, yet again. It really hit me how Psalms is a book that God put into the bible, so that when we suffer, loss of a child, loss of a job, loss of a loved one (friend or family), we have something truly awesome to fall back on. I was in the hospital room, thinking that I would be in for a long night. I had done sleep studies before and knew that I would have a rough night of sleep. (I wasn't wrong - self fulfilling prophecy?) I was awakened the next morning and was out right exhausted. I have been a lot harder situations, though. Surgery I had in August 2004 was a bit hard to face. I wasn't so much worried up until I was told that I have a heart condition. Then I started to wonder about a lot of things in the short time ahead of me. There's a Psalm for that. Loss of a loved one? There's a Psalm for that. Feeling deserted by friends or loved ones? There's a Psalm for that. Hardship? There's a Psalm for that. God put the Psalms in there to help us not feel alone. I am greatful for that.

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Thursday, July 28th

Wow, a good day to be alive. I found out my brother is going to get married, and I am happy for him. It's nice to see how his life is moving forward. I am just so excited for him. I am not fired from my job. Always a good thing. I got some advice as to what to do with the suicide hotline. I was thinking about volunteering to help it out. I am drawn to it. I want to do it SO bad. My schedule really isn't set up to do it right now. If I did the hotline, I would probably end up loosing another good chunk of sleep, and with my schedule so full as it is, just wouldn't be a wise thing to do. Well, hum.

Now, onto my quiet time.

Not much of one today. I read a little out of Cry of the Soul, prayed a lot. So much going on with my family and my wife's family, that I really just needed to sit down and pray and cry and collect my thoughts. Work has beet me down and school has already started to beat me down and family matters are starting to beat me down. Not to mention, I will be doing the school thing while I am at vacation. Will I enjoy it? I think I will find a way, but the thought of responsibility vs. enjoyment is tugging at my conscious. Very well, I really just needed the time to reflect and turn to God and place my worries on him.

A scripture I did look at, though:

Luke 12:22-34
Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Verse 34 just comforts me. And today, that is what I needed.

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Saturday, July 23rd

This QT was really special. I spent a lot of time with my son today, we went to meet Lance Nix of the Texas Rangers, and he slept through the whole thing. I got him a poster, though, and took some pictures for him, so hopefully someday he will appreciate things. Anyway, my quiet time today was spent with my son. I read to him. Even though he really didn't understand much, I just thought it was special due to our first QT together. Hopefully, many more will follow. On to the goods.

Earthly Hope and Heavenly Hope

I read in "Cry of the Soul" with my son, and what I read to him was about earthly hope and heavenly hope. What I discovered is that it is much like earthly sorrow and godly sorrow. Earthly sorrow is like "sorry for being caught" whereas Godly sorrow is being sorry to the core. Wanting to make things right and doing what it takes to truely repent. Earthly hope is hope in people and that things will go right. What normally happens with earthly hope is that the thing you want to get better, does get better, but then something else falls apart, and hence the whole world falls apart. Heavenly hope, on the otherhand, is when there is a vision of redemption in the mist of the muck. It's relying on God through thick and thin, knowing that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train. BUT WHAT IF IT IS A TRAIN? Then God knows that with hope in him, he can stop the train and give you a ride back to the train station. That is what Heavenly hope is all about.

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