Johnnys Testimony

Johnny’s Testimony

Before I became a Christian:

What was my life like before I made Jesus Lord?

• I did drugs.
• I was heavily into pornography.
• I lied to cover up my drug and pornography use.
• I stole from my parents.
• I felt I had blown it with God.
• I felt I knew better, but chose not to do the right things.

What did my life revolve around? What did I get my security or happiness from?

• I got my happiness from sports and dating, mainly. I would enjoy hanging out with friends, and using drugs with my friends.
• I would have enjoyment from viewing pornography.

How did those areas begin to let me down?

• My relationships with women would be based on how smart they were, how attractive they were, and how comfortable I felt around them.
• The drugs I used provided little enjoyment, but I would use anyway. I would feel stressed when I used, because I knew it was wrong.
• Pornography provided temporary enjoyment, but after I used, I felt dirty. I would use pornography for enjoyment on a constant basis, trying to get the satisfaction that I had once gotten from it, but to no avail.

How I became a Christian:

When was the first time I heard the gospel?

• I grew up in the mainline Church of Christ, but the sermons never really went to my heart. I was there just to punch my card that I went to service that week, and as soon as the school bell rang, my family was out the door. No fellowship at all. I met Jenny, and we started dating, we got engaged, and started looking for a church to marry us. We came to a service, she hated it, but I liked it. So we came back, based on my decision. That was in 1998.

What were my initial reactions?

• My initial reactions were that these people were weird, but friendly. This guy set next to us on the back row, and even though he was old enough to be my dad, he wanted to hang out with us. I thought that was cool, so I gave him my phone number. My thought was that we get married in this church, and I will eventually convince Jenny to go to my church later.

When did my attitude about Christ and/or the gospel begin to change? Why?

• We decided to get premarital counseling, and met up with Damen and Terrin Pabst. They said that we should get our relationship with God on right first before we work on our relationship together. However, with that said, when it came to opening up, I didn’t want to open up about everything. I knew I had to confess my sexual sins then, but just couldn’t do it. My heart was too hard. It would be years before that would take place. It started with my wife finding out that I had purchased pornography at a video store. Even then, I wouldn’t be open about everything. How good a time to open up was that? Still, it would be a few more months, and then I sat down with a brother, we talked for most of the night, and then a few months later, I was baptized.

Who were the people that God used in my life and how did they impact me to make Jesus Lord?

• The first person, in a long string, was Damen Pabst. He got the eventual ball rolling. I studied with him, Todd Asaad, Ben Doke, Hayward Johnson, and Steve Ozanne. All of these guys played an important roll. Damen introduced me to the bible, Ben and Todd had more faith in me than what I had in myself. Hayward and Steve were just awesome. When I studied that bible with them, they had me do deep research on the sexual sin in the bible, which I really needed. And it didn’t hurt that I was completely open this time. Everyone who studied with me over that time was completely open about their lives, and for so long I had wanted to do that, but my pride had kept me from it.

What were the final struggles that went through my mind just before I became a Christian?

• Would I ever be able to stay open and go after a life of leaving my sin behind me?

What scripture helped me to make the decision to go ahead and make Jesus Lord of my life?

• James 5:16
• 1 Corinthians 10:13

After I became a Christian:

Specific changes I have seen in my life since becoming a Christian.

• I am open, not only with my sin, but with my temptations, as well.
• I pray a lot.
• I have consistent quite times, now, and feel more in tune with my relationship with God.
• I call brothers on a regular basis.

Why am I motivated differently? How does my relationship with Christ affect my decisions regarding activities, relationships, my future, etc.?

• I am motivated more to have people in my life. When I do things, I think how it would affect this person or that person, and how that decision on whole is good or bad. I used to be very spontaneous, but now I try to think out my decisions, and reactions to things. I am not quick to give out advice anymore, or spout off my thoughts.
• When I go out to do something, and it is appropriate to have someone else come along, say like a Ranger game, I try to see if anyone is interested to go as well. But on special occasions, I try to keep those between me and my wife (good for the marriage like that).
• As far as future, I used to be driven by greed. Highest bidder only, regardless of the job. I would be miserable at the job, but happy with the pay. Now, I get advice and input from my wife, and I am going after a career in which I would be happy in doing, but the pay isn’t going to all that great. I believe that since I enjoy teaching and helping kids, that payoff is going to be so much more from the kids, that a check of any amount will be satisfactory.

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