Thursday, January 26th, 2006
A Study on Love – Edition #21
Some Definitions:
FINE:
- This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
- This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
- This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
- This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
- This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
- This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
- Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
- This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."
- At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
- This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"
- A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
- This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"
Well… that was just for a laugh. I’m in a seriously funny mood today. I guess it goes with a great night of sleep. Two atoms are walking down a street when the bump into each other. The first atom asks the second one if he is ok, to which he replies, “I think I lost an electron.” “Are you sure,” asks the first atom. “I’m positive.” OK… now on to some serious stuff…
Is God a God of Love or a God of destruction? I was thinking about this last night and I had some thoughts about the world’s perception on God. One that really stuck out in my mind was insurance. The “Act of God” clause that insurance has… if you house is picked up and placed anywhere other than Kansas, that’s an act of God. My car is struck by a meteor. My apartment and place of work is burned down by the Texas wildfires. A parking garage is bent by a tractor trailer which causes all the automobiles to fall on my wife and child. This is the common perception of God in our society. They are considered to be acts of God. Is God a God of destruction and death? I don’t think so. God is a God of love…
1st John 4:7-21
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13 We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and him in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17 In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the Day of Judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
How can God be the cause of hate crimes when he is a God of love? I don’t think that God should be removed from the Dollar Bill or the Government offices, but I think he should be removed from insurance clauses.
Philemon 2:1-3
1 Philemon was complaining to his brother that his stomach hurt. 2 His brother replied, “That’s because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." 3 The next day, the Paul was over at Philemon's house for lunch. Paul mentioned that his heart hurt, to which Philemon immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."
OK, so there is no Philemon 2… but is it funny. And it makes you think. Is my heart hurting? Then I put something in it. Consider: A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation. After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"
Oh my goodness… I have to be prepared for everything. I mean, if I am going to have my heart full of love for God and for everyone, then I have to stop blaming things on God and leave it to chance. Proverbs 13:5-6 says “The righteous hate what is false, but the wicked bring shame and disgrace. Righteousness guards the man of integrity, but wickedness overthrows the sinner.”
Romans 8:28-30
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
God is not a God of hate. God is not a God of destruction. God works for the good of those who love him. And it is man who judges God. I repent and stop judging my lord. I leave with this:
Johnny Ray was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
His doctor said; “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds.”
When Johnny returned, he shocked the doctor by having dropped almost twenty pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor told him. “You did this just by following my instructions?”
The slimmed down Johnny nodded. “I’ll tell you, though, I though I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean.”
“No,” replied Johnny, “from skipping.”
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