The Tongue

March 28th, 2006

The Tongue

This is most likely going to turn into a series. I have been quick to speak and slow to get advice. And because of that, even though the things I have said have been, for the most part, truthful, they haven’t been beneficial. An argument can be made over righteous indignation and righteous anger, but if it isn’t beneficial on the grand scale of things, then it just becomes empty words and wasted time.

Proverbs 10:19-21
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.

Proverbs 12:17-19
A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies. Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.

Proverbs 25:15
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

Proverbs 28:23
He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.

James 3:1-12
Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

1st Peter 3:8-12
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."

1st John 3:11-20
This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous. Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

I have heard it said that misery loves company. And within my misery, I have not sought peace, but instead I have pushed others down to my level. There was hope with my family. And as soon as hope appeared, I squished it and caused more harm than good. It goes back to the tongue. Love is patient. I was not patient. Love is kind. I was not kind. Rebukes are biblical. Rebukes are loving. If rebukes are loving, then rebukes are patient and rebukes are kind. So, if I say that I rebuked my family and I wasn’t patient and kind, then what I did wasn’t a rebuke at all. I don’t even know what I did. But I do know that it wasn’t good. I can point fingers at them and say they are in sin, and rightfully so… but that doesn’t take away from what I did. And at this point, I am not even going to think about the hurtful things that were said from them. I will search out what they said and try to become a better person and a better Christian from it, but from this moment forward, the pain from their words will be gone. I want Godly sorrow in all this.

2nd Corinthians 7:8-11
Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it — I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while — yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.

I know repentance is something granted by God himself. My actions have not reflected love. I have repaid insult with insult. My tongue has controlled my actions. With a room full of proclaimed Christians, I did not take the high road. I was the one who yelled. I was the one who caused bitter root to spring. I was the one who separated family and caused much hurt. I blame-shifted, as it is a habit of addicts. I wouldn’t fess up to my responsibilities of causing this harm. I remember in all this mess, I kept saying that this person “did it first.” And that is immature. I blamed my behaviors on someone else and that was cause for me to yell. I need to control my tongue. Again, I need to control my tongue. I know the bible says that love covers over a multitude of wrongs (1st Peter 4:8), and this seems more than a multitude to me. I simply pray that this family can be re-united, that these sins can be forgiven by all parties, and that we can grow stronger and have deeper and more loving relationships. Right now, it seems like a lot, at least to me. To God, it is would be granted, if we simply ask. Please pray for my heart to humble out. I would much rather have a humble heart than a leg without pain. Johnny Out.