March 24th, 2006
I journeyed to the doctor’s office this morning and actually was pretty fired up… I did some study in the waiting room, although it was in the KJV, I translating it into the JRV quite easily. The doctor and staff treated me nice. But toward the end of the appointment, the ever so unfortunately usual words were spoken by yet another doctor, “Wow, I’ve never had a patient so young to have _____.” I left in good spirits. I was shocked up and down my leg. I was knocked around my legs and arms to test my reflexes. I went through acupuncture. And come to find out, my leg is fine. I do have problems in other areas. But I am starting the grieving process. I went through denial on the way to pick up my son. I had lunch with my mother and expressed my anger at why I get “strange” health conditions. I think I simply skipped the bargaining stage and went straight on into depression. I am not at all sure when acceptance will come… but for one afternoon, pushing the first four isn’t really all that bad.
The Five Stages of Grief:
- The first is denial.
- The second is anger.
- The third is bargaining.
- The fourth is depression.
- The last is acceptance.
The bible has a lot of mourning within its pages. Abraham wept over Sarah and mourned for her. Samuel mourned for Saul and then went to find David. In Nehemiah, they instructed the people who wanted to mourn to instead rejoice. Job says those who mourn are lifted to safety. Ecclesiastes says that there is a time to mourn. Isaiah and Jeremiah seem to be all about mourning…
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Matthew 5:1-12
Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
John 16:20-22
I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
These scriptures are good. They touch my heart. Blessed are those who mourn because God will provide comfort for them, if not in this lifetime, in the next. It could say that. It could say blessed are those who mourn because God will let them win the lottery. It could say blessed are those who mourn, for they will be given food, flowers and stuff. Comfort, are you comfortable? Are you at ease physically, free from stress and relieved in the heart. Are you being soothed in time of affliction and distress? One thing that I like about the scripture, the verse, is the timeframe. Many people, me included, tend to look at things in a “right now” type attitude. I am mourning right now, so, GREAT JEHOSEPHAT, comfort me NOW! My grandfather passed away in 2001. It is almost five years to the day (was on March 28th) that he left me and my family to head to the afterlife. My mother still mourns his death. I believe that comfort is something that takes time. And it may not come in this lifetime. It isn’t promised to be a right now sort of thing. I would like for it to be, but it isn’t. I saw the coolest thing today, actually just a few minutes ago… I saw a pair of raccoons digging in the garbage. One big fat one was just outside the dumpster and it looked like he was ticked off by my presence. So I made sure to give him his room. Those guys are known to carry rabies and I have enough on my plate to add that to the books. My grief will turn to joy. With a heart attack on my plate and a MRI to come on my brain to check for a tumor and other things that could be causing my leg pain I struggle to see where the joy in this is… but it will come. Tomorrow, I leave my 31’s and enter into my 32’s… will I feel any different? I think so… there is plenty to rejoice over… living another day, seeing my son, visiting with family – who wouldn’t be excited over such things? To be honest, though, the idea of having the pain in my leg spread all over my body to where I am in so much pain, that doesn’t excite me in the least bit… but until that day comes, I am grateful for what God has blessed me with. A wonderful wife, an adorable son, a loving God, and an abundant support group unlike anything I could ever imagine. If death is knocking on my door anytime soon, I know that I have lived this life to the fullest the right way… and for that I am ever so grateful.
1st Corinthians 10:12-13
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
These medical problems, trials, whatever, God isn’t going to let me go through something that I cannot handle. Jesus was amazed by lack of faith and by amazing faith. When I, a mere man, am faced with a trial that God knows I can handle, am I going to give him the faith that he expects, a faith that amazes him in a good way, or faith that amazes him in a bad way? Option 1 is good… it’s not great, but it is still acceptable. I would prefer the second… and the third, well, I have been there and done that… it’s not fun for anyone, much like the medical tests I endured today. My nerves are hypersensitive meaning they are highly and excessively sensitive. In some ways, that is good, the good feelings can rage on and on, but the bad thing is that so can the pain. I wish my heart can be hypersensitive toward the good things in life and hyposensitive toward the bad things. I guess we can’t have it all… and if we did, then what would we do then? Johnny Out.
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